about me

general info

my name is Mathie! you can write the M in upper or lower case, i don't care. in most places, my username is blackmagemathie (cuz i love black mages from Final Fantasy). but in some spaces i've been in longer, i might go by mathos, or blackmagemathos.

i live in France, and speak both French and English. tho i use English whenever possible, you'll notice some of my works are written in French; i'm much more comfortable writing in my native language.

i'm not human

this took me forever to process and accept, but i've never related to my physical humanity. i like the umbrella term of "alterhuman"; think of it as being trans in its broad sense, but for species rather than gender.

some people claim they have a soul fit for a certain species, or believe in past lives; but i don't embrace any kind of mysticism. i simply have dysphoria regarding my physical humanity, and wish i had a specific nonhuman body.

i'm painfully aware i can't have this body irl; so i mitigate my dysphoria by carefully controlling my online image, and embracing my nonhuman identity in as many ways and safe spaces i can.

now, what's that nonhuman form of mine, you ask? well, it's that of an Asralim; a species i created for a fantasy setting. in this form, i have 2 heads, 4 arms, and 3 legs. i also have 3 breasts, 2 navels, and am polydactyl (6 fingers on each hand). in short, a whole bunch of extras.

unless there's a good reason not to do so, i'd ask that you respect this image when i'm projecting it. it's not a trick to roleplay with people, it's not a kink; it's just what i physically wish to be and feel comfortable as.

i'm neurodivergent

my brains are pretty weird! i process emotions, sensory inputs, social situations and a lot more things differently from an average person.

i'm formally diagnosed with autism, and there's a good chance a whole bunch of other things will follow someday. this cocktail of neurodiversity has a significant impact on my online activities and social interactions, so here are (among others) a few guidelines to keep in mind to communicate with me.

  • i struggle with subtext. i'm bad at interpreting it, and often overthink what i'm told if there's room for interpretation. please be explicit when talking to me.

  • i struggle with small talk. not only i'm bad at it, but it tires me real hard real fast. i'd ask that you avoid it, so i can focus my attention and energy on what really matters to you.

  • i have auditory processing issues. i have a hard a time with multiple people speaking at once, strong accents, and loud environments. i might ask people to repeat themselves. so please be patient if you end up on call with me.

  • i prefer text to voice. both for reasons cited right above, further below, and because i like to have time to think what i say. plus, i only go on calls with friends i know particularly well.

  • i struggle starting conversations. i consistently fear that i'm bothering people when i go up to them without an already established reason. please don't take offense if i'm not actively reaching out to you.

i'm queer as fuck

transgender flag nonbinary flag pansexual flag polyamorous flag

first of all, i'm trans; because my gender differs from the one i was assigned at birth. simple as that.

…okay, more precisely, i'm nonbinary. i have a gender, but it sure doesn't fit a mere male-female spectrum. or a 2d graph. or any damn model you could invent, to be honest.

in French, and other needlessly binary languages/situations, i go by "she" cuz that's what makes things easiest for me.

in English, i default to "they" but also enjoy funkier stuff like "fae", "xey", "shey" or even "tzey". matter of fact, anything that ends in "ey/em/eir" is most likely cool.

finally, i'm panromantic/sexual and polyamorous; i don't have preferences in gender or number of partners.