my cool nonhuman self

reference art

heads

that's right! i'm a single person, but i have 2 fully functional heads. i'm aware of both of their senses at all times, and can use them independantly; much like a chameleon's eyes.

i also have 2 sets of vocal chords; 2 voices, if you will. they're almost identical, but my right one is ever so slightly lower. i rarely speak with both, but i do alternate between them a lot.

i have different eyesights; i need glasses on both heads, but they don't have the exact same prescription. if i mix up my glasses in the morning, the difference is actually small enough for me to often not notice until well into the afternoon.

because i have 2 brains, i can effectively focus on 2 things at the same time; reading a book with one head as talking to someone with the other, that sort of thing. i don't split my attention most of the time though; it can get tiring.

arms and hands

my 4 arms are vertically aligned; my bottom shoulders rest against my top armpits. both pairs have the same length, strength and inherent range of movement.

my hands are polydactyl; they each have 6 fingers. length-wise, it's like having a second ring finger between the index and middle fingers. the cool thing about it is that i can do a lot of things you'd normally need 2 full hands for with just 1!

legs and feet

i'm a tripod! my feet are all identical, with 3 toes packed tightly into a round shape. my middle leg might not look like it, but it actually has a great range of movement; i can cross it over any of my outer legs, for example.

i walk and run in a 1-2-3 fashion; left, middle then right. or the opposite! i don't have a "directional" preference. i only alternate between middle leg and outer legs in some specific cases, like climbing a ladder or steep stairs.

selected questions (and answers)

(anonymous) asks:

how do you type with 4 arms?

lowers hands on keyboard, top right one on mouse. even with a full-size keyboard, using all 4 hands gets a little cramped.

tamara asks:

do you eat with both heads at the same time or just one?

depends. if i wanna eat fast, i alternate between heads (one swallows while the other chews). if i wanna really take my time enjoying a meal, i try various taste combinations with both~

mina asks:

how do you cross your legs?

side, then middle, then the other side! like this-

vetch asks:

how does polydactyly affect your using a keyboard?

not much when typing, cuz i never learned to use all my fingers for that. but for games with a lot of keys it's really handy! (pun not intended)

denzel asks:

how does your perspective change when your heads turn towards opposite directions?

it divides, like a cell undergoing fission! the less my points of view have in common, the more they split.

vetch asks:

how often do you bang your heads together?

not as often as you think under normal circumstances, but definitely as often as you think when i'm drunk.

random street dog asks:

you have different hairstyles; do you have preferences for each head?

absolutely; long on the right, short on the left. i've tried other combinations but none ever clicked. and identical haircuts isn't my thing at all.

vetch asks:

what are the best and worst parts of having 2 heads?

pros: complex emotions, taste combos, and the ability to do two-person skits by myself! cons: cost of haircuts (oof), dental work (more oof) and glasses (mega oof).

ember asks:

do you have an order of most to least dominant with 4 hands? or do you just have a dominant side?

dominant right side! i only have a top/bottom preference depending on how things are positioned.

tamara asks:

alcohol?

in enough quantity? fucks me up. desyncs almost everything; i trip on my own legs all the time. picture each half of your brain matter flipping a coin to determine if it's gonna be peak happy or peak sad. when they get different sides it's A Lot.

jane asks:

do you have to buy 2 pairs of shoes and throw out the remainder?

i just buy 3 pairs, get one of them modified into "middle" shoes, and end up with 2 proper "trios" of shoes ;)

impzel asks:

by default, which head do speak with first in any given conversation?

i often say hi with both then follow with the right one~