i'm ace!

as the name implies

guys i did a pride month!! i realised that yes, i am very much ace. neat.

i was sharing with a friend how i felt tired about multi as a whole these days. i said everything about it and recent conversations felt about kink, or kink-like. more precisely, it felt like a lot of energy that i didn't really want to tap into like others did.

a thing we both agreed upon was that writing works about/featuring multi were not so much infrequent as they felt largely fetishistic. i then expanded on how i can't really engage with stories that presents bodies first and characters second, which is a reason why my celize & lucan story is a work i don't feel satisfied with and would want to maybe rewrite someday, among other things. then my friend talked about a nsfw story series they once read that was barely about sex, and moreso about developing a kink, and that's when it clicked for me.

i'm into weird bodies for the characters that sport em, sure, but even when i'm "just feeling horny", it's never about being attracted to a character's body; it's always about sensuality. as in "i experience arousal from imagining what being physically this way feels like, what it presents as a sensory experience"

so, considering this is very much not attraction, and more "seeing this helps me imagine sensory experiences i yearn for"....yea that's for sure asexuality territory imho.

i'm also realising this might be a reason why i sometimes feel overwhelmed by things like nsfw roleplays. perhaps i've been operating on different terms from the people i was with, or pushed myself into acting like something i didn't really feel, because i lacked this personal understanding of why i desire certain things.

i wish to appropriate sensory experiences not just first and foremost, but exclusively! i'm not into irl sex, and the other kinds of sex-related things i'm into aren't even for the sex part! i'm ace! hooray :)

speaking of self-discovery

if you haven't seen it already, go check my cool alterhuman shape on this fancy ref page! it's got art, it's got details, it's got an extensive q&a! regarding that q&a: feel free to send me questions using my contact email! i'll add them if they're interesting / haven't been answered before~

i've also finally made my old fursona into its own character! feels nice to finally put all of that behind me, but not in a destructive manner. viva recycling character concepts-

and some other updates, as usual

• better button styles! some of them are "bracketed" now. looks nicer and "aerates" the general website looks nicely.
• ART FILTERS, FINALLY.
• characters profiles now have cool little summaries! they also show up on embeds (discord, bsky, etc)
• and minor improvements galore (～￣▽￣)～