about me

my name is Mathie! you can write the M in upper or lower case, i don't care. in most places, my username is blackmagemathie (cuz i love black mages from Final Fantasy). but in some spaces i've been in longer, i might go by mathos, or blackmagemathos.

i live in France, and speak both French and English. tho i use English whenever possible, you'll notice some of my works are written in French; i'm much more comfortable writing in my native language.

this took me forever to process and accept, but i've never related to my physical humanity. i like the umbrella term of "alterhuman"; think of it as being trans in its broad sense, but for species rather than gender.

some people claim they have a soul fit for a certain species, or believe in past lives; but i don't embrace any kind of mysticism. i simply have dysphoria regarding my physical humanity, and wish i had a specific nonhuman body.

i'm painfully aware i can't have this body irl; so i mitigate my dysphoria by carefully controlling my online image, and embracing my nonhuman identity in as many ways and safe spaces i can.

unless there's a good reason not to do so, i'd ask that you respect this image when i'm projecting it. it's not a trick to roleplay with people, it's not a kink; it's just what i physically wish to be and feel comfortable as.

you can already find a bunch of art of my "shape" on this website, but i'm working on reference material to properly present it in a fancy, dedicated page. stay tuned!

my brains are pretty weird! i process emotions, sensory inputs, social situations and a lot more things differently from an average person.

i'm formally diagnosed with autism, and there's a good chance a whole bunch of other things will follow someday. this cocktail of neurodiversity has a significant impact on my online activities and social interactions, so here are (among others) a few guidelines to keep in mind to communicate with me.

• i struggle with subtext. i'm bad at interpreting it, and often overthink what i'm told if there's room for interpretation. please be explicit when talking to me.

• i struggle with small talk. not only i'm bad at it, but it tires me real hard real fast. i'd ask that you avoid it, so i can focus my attention and energy on what really matters to you.

• i have auditory processing issues. i have a hard a time with multiple people speaking at once, strong accents, and loud environments. i might ask people to repeat themselves. so please be patient if you end up on call with me.

• i prefer text to voice. both for reasons cited right above, further below, and because i like to have time to think what i say. plus, i only go on calls with friends i know particularly well.

• i struggle starting conversations. i consistently fear that i'm bothering people when i go up to them without an already established reason. please don't take offense if i'm not actively reaching out to you.

first of all, i'm trans; because my gender differs from the one i was assigned at birth. simple as that.

…okay, more precisely, i'm nonbinary. i have a gender, but it sure doesn't fit a mere male-female spectrum. or a 2d graph. or any damn model you could invent, to be honest.

in French, and other needlessly binary languages/situations, i go by "she" cuz that's what makes things easiest for me.

in English, i default to "they" but also enjoy funkier stuff like "fae", "xey", "shey" or even "tzey". matter of fact, anything that ends in "ey/em/eir" is most likely cool.

finally, i'm panromantic/sexual and polyamorous; i don't have preferences in gender or number of partners.